Monday, 1 March 2010

Project Grace 2010: Day 1

So what it Project Grace 2010?

Good Question.

It's something I came up with this morning while I was wandering around lost... I'm lost... I've lost myself - how is that possible...?

I look in the mirror, I see the shell of me (a rather XXL shell I might add) ... but where am I...? Where have I gone...?

The girl that was so confident, self-assured, fit, healthy, ready to take on the world... where is she...?

Those around me still see her in me... but I can't.

I am paralysed by fear.

What am I afraid of?

This year I turn 40 - but that's not it, that is not what I'm afraid of.

The thought of it, however, got me thinking...

If the average life expectancy for women is around 80ish (courtesy of Google)... then I guess I'm heading for the dreaded mid-life crisis... is that what this is?

To be honest, Project Grace 2010 is a mystery journey. I don't know details. All I know is that I need to find and restore myself before I turn 40... I can't keep going on like this - I AM OVER FEELING LIKE THIS!

I am over feeling disconnected with myself... I'm a walking contradiction (yes, I joined that Facebook Group thanks to my old school friend Sharron).

I am writing this on the 1st day of March in the US... but for Europe, Asia and where I am - Australia (Oz) - it's already the 2nd. However my first act of "Fuck it, I'm doing it anyway," I am taking the liberty of declaring the US time as my project's start date, so here it is in writing:

Day 1: 1st March 2010 (Gosh, I am such a rebel)

Completion Date: 3rd November 2010 (My 40th Birthday)

So that's it... project underway... I'm off to check out a new gym that's opened up nearby. Hopefully hiding in some corner, I might find a part of me that I lost along the way.

Ciao for now,

Grace :-)

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  1. It's me! I'm the first!
    Wait - am I the first to follow you (obviously, as I hit the "be the first" button), or the first associated to a piece of you that has come forward? ... Hmmm... I am intrigued to hear more. From you of course ^__^

  2. Wow... I'm so excited - thank you!

    At first I thought I was writing this for myself... now there's two of us.


  3. There is a saying that goes like, "Realising you know nothing is the beginning of wisdom". I do not know if this applies to you and your quest for finding yourself, but it certainly springs to mind. I believe many people our age and older have not found themselves and probably do not even give it a second thought; people have a habit of falling onto a path and just continuing along that path allowing circumstance to dictate the journey, dealing with whatever comes along. Good luck with finding the roadsigns! Garrie

  4. I look at you Grace and see a beautiful woman with a world of courage.

    I love the saying that goes something like 'you don't need to see the whole staircase to climb it, just the next step'...sounds like you've found that first step and just watch as the rest of the staircase opens up

    Have a great time finding yourself this year - it'll be such an amazing adventure for you.

    Thanks for letting me share in it xxx

  5. Hey Hey, we (Team McSlade) are with you all the way. Just a side note I (Jo) am in the same boat and partially started writing words to that effect in my 'quiet time'. I'm always a firm believer that when you realise you're not alone you start to feel a little better and I am definately a member of the 'lost' club. I'm not hoping Spain will provide me with the answers but I am sure that having TIME - no work, no study, no renovations etc (which is what Spain offers) might just help me to make some progress. I also totally get the contradiction stuff - I am Irony Girl. My job is to advise wide eyed students about their careers and future and I have absolutely no direction or idea of my own. So... I will stick with you on your journey all the way and meet you at your destination of choice on Nov 3 to celebrate the outcomes of PROJECT GRACE 2010
    LOVE YA xxxx

  6. Oh Grace. You've done it again. You've written what's in my head! And to celebrate this journey with you, instead of "treating myself" with a chocolate brownie and latte with 2 sugs, I'm going to try out treating myself with a walk in the fresh air and a green tea instead.

    My own journey began a couple of weeks back with very similar questions and a curiosity about what lies beneath my layers of flesh and who is Jodi when she's not being, mother, wife, colleague, daughter in law etc etc. Is there a way of just being me? And are these two things somehow connected?

    A couple of sessions at my local Dance Base for some Salsa lessons or similar is going to be my way of tapping into a little bit of old Jodi. (Now, how do I figure out how to be a follower of your blog......really too close to 40 for this technology!)
    Love your work and roll on Project Grace! xx

  7. Good for you Jodi - so happy to hear that I may be having a positive impact on those around me (even if it is VIRTUALLY around me!)

    it's only Day 3 (actually, just clicked over midnight here, so technically Day 4)... and I am feeling so positive about all of this. What I love most is that this project is enabling me to connect with those that going through the same journey - and it's so comforting to know I'm not alone.

    Big Love,
    Grace xx

    ps. I see you've worked out how to 'follow' - brilliant!

  8. Hey Grace You are doing an amazing thing trying to find your self this year i do hope it lives up to all your expectations if there are any, i am in my early 50`s and still trying to find myself with some failures along the way, but i pick myself up and travel along lifes journey and it has taken me to some amazing places and taught me amazing things, Good Luck with your journey.. Raelene P


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