He described it as a wild horse raising its head in a fiery upward thrust. He said it was kicking and convulsing in what looked like a struggle to be free.
At the time, I was dealing with a massive upset and his vision didn't surprise me. Whilst I found it fascinating, I did not consider that it might have extended beyond my then current distress.
Something profound happened today, reminding me of that Reiki vision.
While I was jogging to my playground today (aka gym), I felt a calm come over me. A deep calm from the pit of my stomach. The chatter had stopped and I no longer fought against myself. It was though I had surrendered, as though I had tamed the wild horse within - the one that my father-in-law had witnessed all those years ago.
At that moment it all went 'click'.
I had flashbacks of pivotal moments when I've wanted to make changes in my life, yet my intentions to move forward was met with chronic resistance. Each manoeuvre to charge on was combated by a hundred wild horses pulling me in the opposite direction.
For as long as I can remember, to as recently as Wednesday's Weigh-In, I'd use words like 'inner conflict', 'turmoil' and 'dilemma' to describe what was going on. This disharmony often manifested in sickness and depression, which had me feeling unwell, unhappy, tired, irritable and confused.
So how did I tame the wild horse?
In one word, persistence.
In my attempts to become unstuck and absolve the resistance, I tried everything from the gentle approach (understanding, compassion and coaxing in a loving, nurturing way) to sheer brute force (fear tactics, intolerance and insistence). I cannot say one way works better than the other, I believe the overall taming was the result of that one word - persistence.
While I am uncertain whether once tamed, it remains so (this is all new territory for me), I am conscious of how overwhelmingly peaceful I feel right now. I can only imagine how far I can go when all of me - mind, body, spirit and inner wild horses - are all in agreement.
Until tomorrow, may you also experience this peaceful state of surrender.
PS. A personal thank you to my friend, Brad. You inspired me no end yesterday, which I believe played a role in taming the gee-gee.