Wednesday 7 April 2010

I am revolting!

HOLD ON!!! Before you rush off to send me soap, scrubs, perfumes and deodorants, I am actually referring to:

revolt |rɪˈvəʊlt|
verb
1. [intrans.] rise in rebellion
as opposed to:
2. [trans.] cause to feel disgust

Though I cannot guarantee this will avoid the onset of definition No.2, I'll do my best to prevent it.

So with reference to definition No.1, why am I revolting? Because, quite frankly, I have to save myself from the jaws of insanity.

You see... I'm beginning to feel like I am talking to myself, which I've heard is one of the first signs of going poco loco. When I go two days in a row without receiving a comment, I start loosing my mind!

Thoughts like, "That's it, it's all over... nobody likes it (me) anymore... I'm boring... I suck... what a waste of time (mine and everybody else's)... why am I doing this ridiculous blog anyway..." and it goes on and on and on. I'm millimetres away from rocking backwards and forwards, mumbling random abusive comments in very Tourette's-like impulses.

Seriously.

Why am I so desperate to have feedback? Is it because I lack belief in myself? What about the old adage, no news is good news. Should I assume that just because I haven't heard anything, that everything is a-okay? For me the opposite is true. When I don't hear anything, I assume the worst.

Is that wrong? Am I wrong? (happy to be wrong at this juncture)

According to new age literature, what we seek must come from within - which at first, I agreed with. But over time, I began to question that rationale - does that mean performers should not seek applause, dogs need not vie for treats, primary (junior) students forget about the gold star (or scratch and smell sticker, my all time favourite) and, here it comes... bloggers not want for comments?

One of the objectives of Project Grace 2010, is to be able to ask for what I want powerfully. Now this isn't easy for me, so it's going to take practice, practice, practice... and more practice.

So here it is, in writing (as I screw my face up and cringe as I type)...

I would like to receive at least one comment at the bottom of each blog. That means if you're the first, I am asking you to scare yourself and leave a comment (go on, you can do it, I know you can). Facebookers have an extra challenge of leaving a comment outside of our grey-blue friend - yep, we are upping the ante folks (Gaz, you're excused for the time being as you have enough frequent commenter points to fly you to Mexico).

Phew, done. Uncomfortable? Yes. As I said - practice, practice, practice.

Until tomorrow, practice asking for what you want, avoid insanity and bypass the revolting route.

Grace xx

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9 comments:

  1. Bang on. I hope the insanity is quashed with this rather inane comment. I/we have the same issue, well more I (Ryan) have this problem. No comment seems like no result.
    Yet, I do remind myself that it's a journal for us that is shared with others, what they choose to do with it is their perogative. If someone gets a laugh, remembers a similar time or lives vicariously through us. Great.
    If no-one reads it, at least you have got a recorded memory of what you did at a certian point in your own life.
    Blog on...

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  2. I have never had a blog, but is there a counter which shows how many people have visited your site? People are reading your postings whether they leave a mark or not, I'm sure! Your message gets out there. Don't despair Grace (and Teammcslade)! A tree falling in an empty forest still makes a sound.

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  3. Phew - not insane after all!

    And you're right... this project really did start out for me. It's journal of where I am in my life right now, which some day may make me laugh or cringe (or both).

    I guess I too got 'addicted' to comments... and when they're not there, I go hungry!

    Grace xx

    ps. Nice work on the tree metaphor Gaz ;-)

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  4. Still here Grace- and in dire need of W Power! Fancy a blog on the nature of the roller coaster- high on life one week and feeling down in the mundane the next. In response to todays blog- sometimes we need to read a few days worth and then a series of connections seem to happen and propel me to comment. Keep going!

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  5. Hi Grace. The only thing I can suggest is that you shouldn't concern yourself too much with comments and remember the whole reason you're doing this. Read over your first post again. I don't recall anything like "... and it'd be nice if my time spent doing this can be validated by the opinions of others".

    Blogging can be draining. I thought you were mad for attempting to post as often as you're doing, but I commend you for sticking at it.

    My personal blog has been going for 10 years now (as of two weeks ago) and in 226 posts I think I've had a grand total of 180 comments.

    I think I read a statistic somewhere recently that something like 80% of internet users are mostly passive consumers of web content. (That figure could be a little out. I also read somewhere that 17.65% of all statistics are made up. :-) That means they read the blog post, watch the YouTube vid, follow people on Twitter, and move on without contributing. Only a small percentage of people ever feel motivated to post their thoughts on the web. This doesn't mean they don't care, or don't understand.

    For me, blogging is for ME. If anyone else wants to have a read, good on them. If someone wants to put in their two cents, even better. But the value I get from sharing something cool I've found with the world, putting my thoughts into my own personal time capsule, reading through those posts years later, or just getting something off my chest, far outweighs any warm-fuzzy ego-stroke I get from other people's comments.

    Occasionally I check my website stats. I can see that people read my blogs. Some people I know, a lot of people I don't (who mostly stumble onto my site Googling for some weird shit). But the point is that even if they didn't, it really doesn't matter.

    If the purpose of your blog is to build up a personal brand for business purposes, sure that's a different story. But if it's for theraputic, navel-gazing or some other self-centric goal, the only real important stakeholder is you. Otherwise you're throwing your efforts on the mercy of the interwebs, and she is not a kind mistress. :)

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  6. I read t every day grace. It's perfectly stated inspiration to go with my morning coffee. And, I love the pics!

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  7. GRACE!!!! I will apologize for just now getting logged on. Things have been CRAZY, but I am LOVING your blog! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! You can not seriously not know you are by far the most awesome person EVER!!!!!!!!
    Your pictures are cracking me up and even though we both speak-a-the-english, you Aussies have some lingo that is completely foreign to me and I am just not quick enough to catch on. funny huh? anyway I will try and be better about checking in and giving you some comment love, cause comments rock!!!

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  8. Hi Grace
    just to let you know I am also lurking here reading your blog and enjoying it. Let's do that real life coffee. Hi to you to Garrie. Love Dimity.

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  9. Wow, so many comments... I will write to you individually (off the record).
    Thanks for letting me know you're there - mwah! xxooxxoo

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