HOLD ON!!! Before you rush off to send me soap, scrubs, perfumes and deodorants, I am actually referring to:
1. [intrans.] rise in rebellion
as opposed to:
2. [trans.] cause to feel disgust
Though I cannot guarantee this will avoid the onset of definition No.2, I'll do my best to prevent it.
So with reference to definition No.1, why am I revolting? Because, quite frankly, I have to save myself from the jaws of insanity.
You see... I'm beginning to feel like I am talking to myself, which I've heard is one of the first signs of going poco loco. When I go two days in a row without receiving a comment, I start loosing my mind!
Thoughts like, "That's it, it's all over... nobody likes it (me) anymore... I'm boring... I suck... what a waste of time (mine and everybody else's)... why am I doing this ridiculous blog anyway..." and it goes on and on and on. I'm millimetres away from rocking backwards and forwards, mumbling random abusive comments in very Tourette's-like impulses.
Why am I so desperate to have feedback? Is it because I lack belief in myself? What about the old adage, no news is good news. Should I assume that just because I haven't heard anything, that everything is a-okay? For me the opposite is true. When I don't hear anything, I assume the worst.
Is that wrong? Am I wrong? (happy to be wrong at this juncture)
According to new age literature, what we seek must come from within - which at first, I agreed with. But over time, I began to question that rationale - does that mean performers should not seek applause, dogs need not vie for treats, primary (junior) students forget about the gold star (or scratch and smell sticker, my all time favourite) and, here it comes... bloggers not want for comments?
One of the objectives of Project Grace 2010, is to be able to ask for what I want powerfully. Now this isn't easy for me, so it's going to take practice, practice, practice... and more practice.
So here it is, in writing (as I screw my face up and cringe as I type)...
I would like to receive at least one comment at the bottom of each blog. That means if you're the first, I am asking you to scare yourself and leave a comment (go on, you can do it, I know you can). Facebookers have an extra challenge of leaving a comment outside of our grey-blue friend - yep, we are upping the ante folks (Gaz, you're excused for the time being as you have enough frequent commenter points to fly you to Mexico).
Until tomorrow, practice asking for what you want, avoid insanity and bypass the revolting route.