Beyond Project Grace 2010

After much contemplation, I declare that Project Grace 2010, the blog, has come to its timely end.

It was not an easy decision and, at first, was hard to let go. However there were a number of factors that made the way clear.

January 1st, 2011 seemed like an obvious expiration date for a 2010 project and I realised that continuing with it would have diluted its significance and potentially morph it into something else.

I concluded that Project Grace 2010 needed to be honoured and shine in cyberspace as a stand alone star. Had I proceeded to use it as a daily blog, I risked overshadowing the project itself. I could not allow this. I owe so much to it.

You see, Project Grace 2010 saved my life. When I reflect on how lost I felt the day I started, I realised I have conquered a mountain - Mt. Fabulous At Forty in fact. I have gained so many insights and in many ways have learned more in its 9-month duration than I did in the 39-years leading up to it. It gave me perspective, resolution, confidence, self worth and an enormous sense of purpose. I am forever grateful.

In its wake, there was an empty space. A void I couldn't live with. So I started something new. Something that would give me as much purpose and passion as Project Grace 2010. I like to think of it as my project's offspring - which makes perfect sense seeing the gestation period was exactly 9 months.

So without further ado, I am delighted to introduce you to Trailing Grace.

Trailing Grace is my new blog sans expiry date. I invite to join me at my new cyber home and continue to share my journey as I travel through life's peaks and troughs. This evolving new space is destined to have many virtual rooms, though at this stage is a little stark and needs an interior decorator (aka me) to get to work on it pronto.

Until we meet again at my new abode, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

Grace xx

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The last hour

It is the last hour of 2010 and I am sitting in the passenger seat thumbing this post.

The last 24 hours have been an apt reflection of what this year has been like for me; full of ups and downs, reactions and insights, conflicts and resolutions.

I am happy to say that I am at peace.

Tonight we opted to escape the new year madness and, after driving around for 90 minutes, Patrick and I created our own magic.

We decided that having kebabs and Champagne by the quiet shores nearby Melbourne's shipping docks would be the perfect way to end a perfectly imperfect year. And indeed it was - though we did swap the bubbles for organic orange juice.

With the clock ticking, the new year is but a few minutes away. Can a project dated 2010 continue into 2011?

I have decided not to answer straight away. I am taking a few days off and let the new year settle into my bones. Whatever I decide, be rest assured that I will let you know.

As midnight draws nearer, all I feel now is enormous gratitude. Thank you for lending me your ears and giving me a voice. Know that you have been instrumental in putting Humpty Dumpty together again.

This greatest reveal of Project Grace 2010 has been that my mojo was never lost. It was simply buried under years of emotional garbage, which took 9 months of regular trips to the dumpster (aka blog) to eliminate.

I feel stronger, clearer, focused and committed. There is structure, strategy and security in my renewed optimism.

Until next year, eliminate your emotional garbage regularly so that your mojo is within easy access.

Grace xx

PS. Have an amazing 2011. May it be full of love, happiness and exciting goals that will challenge and reward you. Don't be shy to embark on your own personal project and share it with the world... or at least me :-)

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Rock n Roll and the Emergency Oxygen Mantra

There are times in life when I just want to bust loose and let my hair down.

In my former life, that would have meant a big night on the fun juice and murder on the dance floor. However as a borderline teetotaller, letting my hair down means getting out my air guitar and thrashing it out with full constipated facial expressions.

If I were to really break loose, I'd climax by trashing an imaginary hotel room and skidding across a polished floor on my knees (I have indeed mimed outrageous rock concerts with minors, wigs, sans intoxication and with tears of laughter - oh yeah, rock n roll baby).

This desire to burst out into imaginary mayhem usually happens after a spell of feeling constrained. You know - like being a 'good girl' (or boy) by saying the right things, being sensible, highlighting what you 'should' do and defining what you need to do - all the things that mess with your head, kill your spirit and essentially have you feeling dull.

I know, I know, I can almost hear you say "but you've just been to France, Germany, Switzerland, Singapore, Malaysia and done a road trip along the Great Ocean Road, PLUS you've got India (and Bali - I haven't told you about that yet) on the horizon - how does dull enter your vocabulary?"

Truth is, dullness creeps in if I let it.

Having been brought up in a culture where pleasing others is a sure way of avoiding guilt, I find that over time I revert back to this way of being. After all, it is my default setting (you might recall I wrote a post about this called 'Why is it so hard to put yourself first?').

My default setting, when activated, has ways of dulling me. It slowly kills off my mojo and dampens my spirit. It turns me into something I don't want to be. I have discovered that overriding my default setting is like someone learning to write with the opposite hand. Each time they go to pick up a pen, they habitually reach for it with their default hand - therefore they must consciously choose the new hand each time.

For those of us instinctively wanting to put others in front of ourselves, we have to remember the in-flight emergency protocol (which is rapidly becoming my mantra). It is essential that we fit the oxygen mask onto ourselves before helping others. Yes, I know I've said this before and I'm saying it again for all that are hardwired to guilt. We have to repeat this over and over and OVER again so we 'get' it.

I know for one thing, I am a much better person all round when I am not dying inside - and I'm sure that those who surround me are also grateful. If not for my joyfulness, enthusiasm and energy, it'd be because they no longer have to put up with my bad imaginary rock concerts.

Until tomorrow, reduce your need to bust loose with the emergency oxygen mantra.

Grace xx

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The Day I Lost My Mojo

Yesterday I had a meeting with a friend whom I've known since navy blazers worn over a white Tshirt and Levi 501 jeans were considered a revolution.

We worked together at Country Road; Dan would transform basic window displays into stop-in-your-track works of art, while I would transform "Just looking thanks" browsers into "I'll have five of those" customers.

Dan has gone on to establishing one of Melbourne's progressive design houses and has recently started following my blog. After declaring I was an entertaining writer "with great energy" (thanks Dan), he asked if I would consider assisting on a project, to which I enthusiastically obliged.

Dan, the man, defined 'mojo' before Austin Powers popularised it. Stylish, witty, entertaining and creatively brilliant, Dan would no doubt impress (and perhaps even give a few pointers) to fashionisto Carson Kressley.

What I discovered during the course of our meeting, was that Dan was mirroring what I was experiencing. Somewhere a long the way, we'd lost our mojos. Though interestingly, I could still see it in him, and he could still see it in me.

That got me thinking... how do we loose our mojos?

It doesn't happen instantly; not like loosing a pet. You'd be phoning the lost mojo emergency centre, stalking the neighbourhood trying to locate it, posting signs on street poles (see pic) and so on.

Loosing your mojo is like getting a small splinter in your tyre as you zoom through life at thrilling speed. You barely notice it. Day by day your mojo deflates, till one day your wheel struggles to turn (too bad the spare tyre around your waist doesn't quite replace your missing mojo!).

I can't remember the day I lost my mojo - and I don't think it really matters. What does matter, is knowing how to get it back.

Firstly, you have to remove the splinter in the first place (emphasising the first-ness)... and my bet is that splinter is you, and what you think of you.

Secondly, you need to pump mojo magic back into yourself, which you can do via a number of ways: *Please note: mojo is best built by experiences, not possessions

1. Revisit some of the things you loved to do when your mojo was swinging (particularly if you're baffled as to why you ever stopped doing it). If you're too embarrassed to do it publicly, start by doing it at home alone with the blinds down!
   
   
2. Start something new that inspires the mojo in you. Learn a language, an instrument, a craft, an exotic (or erotic) dance. Something that takes place weekly is good at building mojo, especially if it's something you've always wanted to do.
   
   
3. Hang out more with those that see the mojo in you - they will remind you of who you really are and who you want to be. Warning: Beware the mojo vampires, they will suck the mojo out of you before you can dial 000 (that's 911 to my American and Canadian friends).
   
   
4. Reflect on your mojo-ic history and honour it. Look at photos of yourself, your creations, your achievements and basically anything that represents you at your best. Warning: DO NOT lament over what you've lost - celebrate your successes. Reconnecting with yourself in a healthy way will help the mojo flow back into your life. Be inspired by who you are - reflection is to remind you of your fabulousness.
   
   
5. Create a mojo-ful future that excites you, inspires you and gets the mojo juices flowing. Book that overseas trip, enrol in that course or write the first chapter of your book.

Until tomorrow, may your mojo forever be by your side.

Grace xx