Peek-a-boo

Sometimes I get so involved with what I'm doing that I barely come up for air, much less breakfast lunch or tea.

My skin becomes pale, the shadows under my eyes grow darker and I couldn't tell you what the weather is like outside.

I have no concept of time and can operate on as little as two hours sleep, night after night.

I become completely absorbed in the task at hand and nothing, or no one, can distract me. I am in a word, a hermit.

While I know this is not exactly healthy, I simply cannot tear myself away. This is where I am at right now and have been like this since Mission Defrostible, which took place three weeks ago.

Tomorrow this will change. I am leaving the confines of my four walls and heading to Adelaide for a week (Patrick is running MTB skills camps in Melrose, in the southern Flinders Ranges).

I have mixed feelings about this. While I'm looking forward to the fresh country air and reconnecting with loved ones, there's a part of me that just wants to continue with my mission to transform my living environment.

I am interested to see how this time away will impact my enthusiasm. Will it arrest the momentum or create a greater desire to finish off the job?

We will see.

Until tomorrow, be wary of spending too much time on your tasks at hand and be sure to come out of your confines to say peek-a-boo.

Grace xx

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What's cookin' good lookin'?

Last week I embarked on a massive cleaning, clearing, sorting, organising, painting, hammering, shifting and redecorating mission.

'One Word Week' was something I came up with to minimise blog time and maximise mission time.

Each day I chose a word that summed up my day, which in itself was challenging.

One Word Week is now over yet my mission is still going - so I'll continue to focus on short blogs.

This is a very exciting time for me. I can feel change stirring in my belly (and no, it wasn't last night's cannellini beans). While the source of my recent busying is a mystery to me, I know that I'm cooking up a storm - though I don't exactly know what (or why).

I am directing this bizarre burst of domestic energy and enthusiasm into altering my environment, despite not having any concrete plans. It's all a bit of a mystery, much like the way I cook. I simply start by chopping vegetables and the dish reveals itself. Perhaps the same will happen with my current domestic mission.

Until tomorrow, just start and see where it leads.

Grace xx

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Project Grace 2010: Day 1

So what it Project Grace 2010?

Good Question.

It's something I came up with this morning while I was wandering around lost... I'm lost... I've lost myself - how is that possible...?

I look in the mirror, I see the shell of me (a rather XXL shell I might add) ... but where am I...? Where have I gone...?

The girl that was so confident, self-assured, fit, healthy, ready to take on the world... where is she...?

Those around me still see her in me... but I can't.

I am paralysed by fear.

What am I afraid of?

This year I turn 40 - but that's not it, that is not what I'm afraid of.

The thought of it, however, got me thinking...

If the average life expectancy for women is around 80ish (courtesy of Google)... then I guess I'm heading for the dreaded mid-life crisis... is that what this is?

To be honest, Project Grace 2010 is a mystery journey. I don't know details. All I know is that I need to find and restore myself before I turn 40... I can't keep going on like this - I AM OVER FEELING LIKE THIS!

I am over feeling disconnected with myself... I'm a walking contradiction (yes, I joined that Facebook Group thanks to my old school friend Sharron).

I am writing this on the 1st day of March in the US... but for Europe, Asia and where I am - Australia (Oz) - it's already the 2nd. However my first act of "Fuck it, I'm doing it anyway," I am taking the liberty of declaring the US time as my project's start date, so here it is in writing:

Day 1: 1st March 2010 (Gosh, I am such a rebel)

Completion Date: 3rd November 2010 (My 40th Birthday)

So that's it... project underway... I'm off to check out a new gym that's opened up nearby. Hopefully hiding in some corner, I might find a part of me that I lost along the way.

Ciao for now,

Grace :-)