Do you ever feel that you have a split personality?
There's a part of you that's safe, conservative, careful, sensible and, quite frankly, a little dull. You have brilliant ideas, but are too shit scared to do anything about it - like painting the living room wall hot pink, then you settle for sage.
You purchase classic clothing items because they either 'never go out of style' or 'go with everything' - then a few months later, you want to shoot yourself when you can't put a whimsical outfit together. You are reliable, responsible and dead set serious.
You never admit it openly, but you're also a bit of a scrooge.
You really get pissed off over splitting bills when you've only had soft drinks (even though mineral water is triple the price of the house red). You can never leave behind cute hotel shampoo and conditioner bottles, not to mention miniature jam jars (don't laugh boys, we know you can't say no to free bar snacks, despite the high probability of them being contaminated by urine).
Then there's the other part of you... the part that is totally outrageous.
You go shopping with complete abandon and make reckless purchases - like a multi thousand dollar entertainment system with universal remote control (for guess who?) or a petite, totally impractical and hideously overpriced beaded clutch (aka glorified make up bag) that you'll only ever use for weddings, and that's okay, because it looks gorgeous and you simply must have it (lads, your role here is to carry our camera, purse, keys and mobile phone).
You generally like to stay in control, but when you let your hair down - watch out - you are over the top! A loud, flamboyant, colourful and spontaneous risk-taker; you care less about what people think and try harder to make people laugh. You are generous and money is no object.
What you once found terrifying - i.e. a camera, microphone or tambourine (
I have a whole story about that) is now your best friend. You become suspiciously better at flirting, playing billiards and speaking a foreign language. You may easily be enticed to cross-dress and, should you ever find yourself in Munich during Oktoberfest, stand on a table and sing 'Ein Prosit' - then piss yourself and end up on YouTube (thankfully that part was not me).
Is it normal to have two completely opposite facets to your personality? And if so, how do we manage it?
When I was in the wine industry, I discovered that drinking was a key that unlocked the playful, liberated and carefree side of me. But since becoming a virtual teetotaller, I found that part of me didn't get out to play much, and consequently I had become rather miserable.
What I'm learning is that yes, it is normal to have two distinct sides to our personalities (perhaps even more). Managing it is simply allowing it to be.
The less we suppress ourselves, the less our need to 'let our hair down' and the less extreme these personality traits are. The key to inner tranquility is to express all facets of our personality, without mood enhancers. It's the bringing together of both sides that gives us balance and a healthy spirit.
Perhaps our focus on being 'adults' has made us forget what it is like to truly have fun and play - and the only thing outrageous is, exactly that.
Until tomorrow, may you celebrate the Gemini within.
Grace xx
Do you ever have moments when you feel on top of the world?
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