The day after the storm

I feel I've burned the candle from both ends these last few weeks and last night was the climax.

Today there was a quietness that inspired me to continue with my clearing and organising, which has been in suspension since Bali.

Unfortunately my enthusiasm was not matched by my energy levels and I've been stop starting all day.

After several cat naps on the couch I realised just how exhausted I was. Having battled Bali belly and persisted through flu-like sniffles, not to mention my mental self-torture over turning 40, my body is screaming for time out.

I gave myself permission to do, or not do, whatever it takes to get over all my bugs and get myself in peak condition for something completely revolutionary...

I plan to leave my suitcases unpacked for a while and sink some roots before we head to Europe in June 2011 (another Tour de France tour).

In the meantime, I plan to stay put. I intend to stay home and develop a routine that has me feeling more stable [gasp!].

Without distractions, I want to create space to make decisions and be clear about my direction.

I will continue to blog until then.

Until tomorrow, rest when necessary.

Grace xx

ps. Thank you for all the birthday well wishes and encouragement to keep blogging. Mwah!

Time Out

My husband invited me to join him on an overnight trip down the coast while he conducted some private MTB coaching.

He took one look at my grey-ghost complexion this morning and thought the fresh sea and mountain air would do me the world of good.

He was right.

I am taking time out to recharge and re-invigorate myself.

• First stop: Geelong foreshore to film today's Wednesday Weigh-In (done - though still waiting for it to upload to YouTube)
  
  
• Second Stop (depart in 5 minutes): You Yangs National Park (near Lara) to pick up Patrick, his client and their bikes
  
  
• Third Stop: Scotchman's Hill Winery (don't worry, I have a former life in the wine industry and spitting is the order of the day)
  
  
• Forth Stop: Forrest overnight (near Apollo Bay) via the Great Ocean Road
  

Until tomorrow, remember to give yourself permission for time out whenever necessary.

Grace xx

Flat Out

When you're flat out, it's okay to take time out and regroup. In fact it's considered healthy and is encouraged - but you're too busy to take heed.

Taking time when you're not flat out, should also be okay - only for me, it's not. The permission process is often fraught with guilt, shame and torturous internal battles. I have to earn my time out.

Letting myself 'off the hook' is not so easy being me.

I start by building a case based on worthy reasons with a long list of benefits to support my time out proposal.

In almost all cases, under duress and great stress, I eventually grant myself permission - only I am so depleted by the process that often I can do little more than lie on the couch gazing at the idiot box (a DVD is a bonus if I can drag myself to the video library).

Today, I took a clean break.

Yes, you read it correctly, I took a CLEAN break - meaning without punishment or guilt or longwinded inner arguments. What's more, is that according to my old outdated measuring scale, I didn't even earn it! (do I hear a roaring cheer?)

My brother and his wife invited me on a boat trip with their young family. I love love LOVE hanging out with little people, they are so much fun, and my 5 year old nephew and 3 year old niece are no exception. The decision to accept their invitation was a 'no brainer' - and I did it freely.

We cruised Melbourne's Yarra River (see photo) and the day turned out to be perfect. On the way home, I noted the time and said to Pat "I have to post today's blog in an hour" (I post daily to the US time zone and it clicks over to midnight at around 6pm local time).

So I decided I was going to call today's post 'Time Out' and explain that I was indeed taking time out. The plan was simple, choose a photo from today's outing, put the one-sentence 'Time Out' disclaimer, hit 'Publish Post' and voila! - all done.

As you can probably guess, it didn't go quite as planned. After choosing my photo, I thought 'Flat Out' was a far more appropriate title and look what happened...???

Looks like some habits die hard.

Until tomorrow, may you take all the time out you need - whether you are flat out or not.

Grace xx