Flat Out

When you're flat out, it's okay to take time out and regroup. In fact it's considered healthy and is encouraged - but you're too busy to take heed.

Taking time when you're not flat out, should also be okay - only for me, it's not. The permission process is often fraught with guilt, shame and torturous internal battles. I have to earn my time out.

Letting myself 'off the hook' is not so easy being me.

I start by building a case based on worthy reasons with a long list of benefits to support my time out proposal.

In almost all cases, under duress and great stress, I eventually grant myself permission - only I am so depleted by the process that often I can do little more than lie on the couch gazing at the idiot box (a DVD is a bonus if I can drag myself to the video library).

Today, I took a clean break.

Yes, you read it correctly, I took a CLEAN break - meaning without punishment or guilt or longwinded inner arguments. What's more, is that according to my old outdated measuring scale, I didn't even earn it! (do I hear a roaring cheer?)

My brother and his wife invited me on a boat trip with their young family. I love love LOVE hanging out with little people, they are so much fun, and my 5 year old nephew and 3 year old niece are no exception. The decision to accept their invitation was a 'no brainer' - and I did it freely.

We cruised Melbourne's Yarra River (see photo) and the day turned out to be perfect. On the way home, I noted the time and said to Pat "I have to post today's blog in an hour" (I post daily to the US time zone and it clicks over to midnight at around 6pm local time).

So I decided I was going to call today's post 'Time Out' and explain that I was indeed taking time out. The plan was simple, choose a photo from today's outing, put the one-sentence 'Time Out' disclaimer, hit 'Publish Post' and voila! - all done.

As you can probably guess, it didn't go quite as planned. After choosing my photo, I thought 'Flat Out' was a far more appropriate title and look what happened...???

Looks like some habits die hard.

Until tomorrow, may you take all the time out you need - whether you are flat out or not.

Grace xx

My life as a boat

Today I was a tourist in my own backyard.

I spent the day with my gran in-law, who is visiting from Adelaide. We headed for the coast and our only plan was to let the day unfold before us.

The journey took us to the Bellarine Peninsula, south west of Melbourne. It's a place often bypassed by eager tourists (myself included) rushing towards the Great Ocean Road.

The day was perfect. Brilliant blue sky, water like glass and golden beaches that twinkled in the sun. It was heaven.

I brought my camera to snap a few memoirs, when I came across this boat (pictured above).

The image took my breath away. This small vessel bobbing on the water reminds me of us, our human experience... and a story I often tell myself.

We are birthed (or should I say berthed?), and our great voyage begins.

As we sail through life, we experience the full spectrum of what it is to be alive. The grey dull days and wild tumultuous storms soon make way for blissfully calm moments, where life is beautiful and time stands still.

When we find ourselves in the midst of a tempest, we have to remind ourselves that it is transient. Hold on. The clouds will part and the sun will shine. In the meantime, ride the waves and weather the storm.

This is something I came to repeat many times over when I encountered my own 'Groundhog Day'. I felt stuck in the treacherous Cape Horn, whose notoriously hazardous waters are dubbed to be a sailors' graveyard. My little boat metaphor became my mantra to keep Mr. Grim Reaper at bay.

And you know what? The skies did clear, and the waves did calm. As a result, I have become a better sailor and skilful navigator. I manage to dodge more storms today than when I was first at the helm and with each new day, I become wiser.

And another thing...

I learned that no matter how dinged up we get along the way, there's always a safe harbour we can pull into. Our holes can be plugged, the damage repaired and the weaknesses reinforced.

I've also come to the realisation that Project Grace 2010 is such a harbour. Maintenance and repair work is currently underway in preparation to celebrate 40 years sailing.

Until tomorrow... may you sail safely, avoid the storms and take time to explore your own backyard.

Grace xx

PS. I'm particularly touched by this post as I (and a number of people I love) have been directly impacted by depression. There are many worldwide initiatives to help people deal with this debilitating condition. Whilst my 'little boat on the seas' metaphor was (and is) a valuable self-coaching technique, it was not the only means that got me through. There are many safe harbours out there so please seek them, reach out and take time to heal.