The Climax Scene Really Got To Me

Last week I was introduced to Zuiikin' English, a Japanese television series launched in 1992.

This quirky program combines English lessons with tragic, not-quite-aerobic, exercises to repetitive hypnotic synthesised tunes (if you can call them that).

What I found most interesting was the bizarre choice of phrases.

Unlike Coffee Break French lessons that are full of practical questions and statements, Zuiikin' English will have you saying things like,

• Spare me my life (you'd hope you'd never have to say that)
• I was robbed by 2 men (too bad if you're robbed by 3 women)
• How dare you say such a thing to me (useful)
• Leave me alone (somewhat useful)
• It's your fault that this happened (very useful)
• I can't stand the sight of you (most useful)
• You drive me crazy (imperative)
• Let's go Dutch (no comment)
• I have a bad case of diarrhea (oh dear)
• Hasta la vista, baby (what the?)

The one that completely fascinated me (and had me perplexed as to why I was never taught this in French class) was, "The climax scene really got to me." Yes you read it correctly, the climax scene really got to me. And you know what? IT DID.

Since that fateful day, I have not been able eliminate those words from my vocabulary. You can hear me sing them in the shower, as I prepare meals, during trips to the water closet and when I ready myself for bed. In truth, I have been singing them in almost every waking moment.

I have now reached a point where I am bordering insanity. In such trying times I turn to Kylie Minogue for answers and the words 'I can't get you out of my head' came to me. The solution became clear - I had to get these words out of my head and onto paper (or in this case, my blog).

I trust the healing process has begun and I can get on with my life without climax scenes (or that friggin' song) ever getting to me again.

Until tomorrow, learn to get things out of your head and onto paper (or into a computer) to save yourself from going insane.

Grace xx

ps. I have embedded the infectious video below for those who are daring enough to watch it (email subscribers, click here).

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If I could talk to the animals

If I could talk to the animals, what would I say?

I'd say "I love your coat!" but wouldn't ask where they got it from.

If we were close, I might say "wow-wee, your breath's a bit pungent" but I wouldn't offer them a mint.

If they could talk to me, they might say "Love your glasses, can I sniff them?" but they wouldn't wait for me to answer.

It's times like these you need a camera because no one would ever believe such a conversation took place.