Face value

Have you ever wondered why I post so many pictures of myself on this blog?

The short answer is self-healing... but I'm not exactly renown for short answers, so here's the long one...

After being ashamed of myself for way too long, this is a cathartic approach to restoring my self esteem. I absolutely HATED having my photo taken after I gained weight a decade ago. They were far from flattering and to be perfectly frank - I appeared fat and terribly ugly.

During our trip around the world five years ago, I mastered the art of self portraiture - thanks to my husband who is a superstar at it. Over time, I cultivated a relationship between me and the lens and have consequently captured what I refer to as 'the essence of my spirit'.

While this may sound a bit new age and purple crushed-velvety, this is something I have been known for in the portraiture of others. I have often been praised for my photography of people and (wait for it) capturing the essence of their spirit. I have been told on more than one occasion "Oh my God Grace, you can make ugly people look beautiful" (seriously).

The truth is, I don't make people look beautiful... I see people as beautiful.

Through self-portraiture I have been able to see and acknowledge my own beauty despite how other people see me in their photographs. This has been hard and, let's face it, WEIRD. But it has been a necessary step in embracing myself and restoring my self esteem and confidence.

My self portraits are primarily a reminder that I am worthy (I should also add that they are also practical as I'm always in my own company and don't need to seek my permission). Someone with fledgling self esteem, such as your's truly, needs to be reminded of this regularly (the bit about being worthy, not about self portraiture being practical).

The act of me taking a self portrait that I deem worthy and, dare I say, beautiful enough to post on the world wide web is an enormous breakthrough for me. This is what I call 'face value' and for that, I make no apologies. While it may appear narcissistic, I can assure you that it is therapeutic.

Until tomorrow, make no apologies for improving your self worth - whatever it takes.

Grace xx

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Celebrating those at Stage IIII/ - Acceptance

This is the stage that we resist from day one.

WE DO NO WANT TO ACCEPT whatever has caused our grief, be it death, illness, disease, tragedy, loss or change.

We want it undone.

We fight it, resist, do anything to avoid it. We bury our head in the sand (denial), fight it tooth and nail for it is so unfair (anger), plead and beg for it to be reversed and go away (bargaining), until we become completely depleted and despondent (depression).

Then one day, we succumb (acceptance).

Does that mean we've given up?

At first, I thought it did - and that's why I fought against it so much. I have since invented a new meaning for acceptance.

Acceptance is giving up the struggle, but not the hope. It doesn't mean you have to like what has caused you grief, but you can live with it. It's about choosing to be okay. It's about moving on. It's about discovering new meanings to life that did not exist before.

Until tomorrow, may we have compassion for all those who are at various stages of grieving. Wishing you a speedy journey to stage five.

Grace xx